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From the time I was young I was always the person who just didn’t make a big deal out of something I wanted--I just did it.

I have achieved and done and seen and gone all throughout my life because I would say, “I want that. I’m going to figure out a way to do it.” It was a level of drive and independence that trusted in me and me only.

I was always of the opinion that it’d be better to do it myself than trust someone else and have them maybe mess it up

Then Maeve died. My first REAL instance of letting go and accepting help happened in these immediate days following her birth and burial, in the form of meals, rides, and support in the only ways that people knew how to give it. It wasn't easy to accept help, but I knew I must. We were grappling together, figuring it out as we went.

As time went on, I began to realize that my life was a result of everything I’d been doing up to that point; and that if I wanted something different, maybe I should TRY something different.

That maybe there were people who were worth paying to help me learn those things. Instead of just reading books and saying "that was a great book, ok what’s next on my list?" (Books are great, I love books. But for me it was all head knowledge, no action.)

My experience losing Maeve really turned that around for me. Allowing yourself to be supported is such a huge part of resilience. Making that shift in order to both survive and become even more resilient, was a really big part of it.

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