I'm staying on the Gulf of Mexico for a few days, reveling in the white sands, breathing in the ocean breezes, taking walks on the beach, and supporting my husband as he trains for a fundraiser swim around Key West he's doing next month.
As we've vacationed, I've noticed some old familiar feelings towards money resurfacing on this trip. We went out to a magical dinner the first night we were here, booked a private dolphin sunset cruise, and I bought a bunch of gourmet food at the grocery store--all of these things brought up guilt and anxiety for me that reminded me of how things USED to be. They also threatened to keep me from enjoying these beautiful sights and experiences, so they needed to be addressed.
As stress around money and finances comes up with every single one of my incredible clients, I wondered if any of them sound familiar to you, too.
This is where my mind used to spin on an endless loop when it came to money:
- There's never enough. Even if something amazing happened with money or I accomplished a big goal, I'd revel in it for a minute, then be pulled right back down to the urgency of where that money was needed, and the anxiety of where the next chunk was going to come from.
- The only way to make more money is to work more hours. But how can I do that? I already work all the time. I must not be doing the right things, I'm not doing enough, or it's a problem with me and my efficiency. I just need to buckle down and find a way to spend MORE hours working and obsessing about finding more work--it seems like the only way to do it. And I SHOULD be able to figure it out for free (by reading books, articles, downloading freebies, etc.) because I'm smart and independent and running a profitable business.
- Spending money on anything but practical stuff is bad and I feel guilty about it. So buying myself clothes or shoes, eating out, getting a pedicure or massage, or anything not "practical" causes major guilt. "Treat yo' self" is a foreign concept reserved for people on TV.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? It's painful, isn't it? The great news--you don't have to stay this way!!!!!
I've transformed my relationship with money--and it is a relationship--over the past year, so I know it's possible for you, too.
Here's a tip to get started:
Start by listing your 5-10 most top-of-mind beliefs about money (like the ones I listed above), and then write their opposites down (ex. instead of "There's never enough," write "I always have enough money.") Read these to yourself at least once a day either first thing in the morning, or right before you go to bed, or both. Do this for 21 days at a minimum, even if it feels like you're lying to yourself at first. Notice how you feel.
Want some free, individualized support with this? Comment or email me and let me know how I can help!
There is hope--remember, change your thoughts, and you change your world, so it can start today!
To making peace with money,