Do you find yourself doubting your ability to accomplish your goals? If you dream big dreams, like me, you’ve probably come up against a deeply-seated doubt in your ability to achieve them, and the resulting fear that accompanies it.
The two are toxic best friends.
I have a confession--in the past, I allowed self-doubt to pretty much control me. Don’t get me wrong, I had made the leap into running my own business, and I was successfully helping amazing clients around the country, but my dreams were even bigger.
I wanted to make a HUGE impact on thousands of lives around the WORLD.
But, I believed lots of excuses why I might not be able to do it. My self-doubt was in full gear. My subconscious saw the risks involved and kicked in big-time, trying to keep me “safe” (which meant staying stuck where I was).
Here are some of the self-doubting thoughts that took up residence in my brain; see if any of them sound familiar to you:
I am already too busy
I don’t have time to do it right, so why bother?
I’m already overwhelmed
I’m good at what I do, so I should just settle here and be happy with it
Someone else is already doing it and they are way smarter/prettier/better/richer/farther along than me
I might fail, and what will people think?
I don’t want to be pushy or annoying or salesy to get my message out there
I don’t know how to do some of what would be involved, so therefore I’m not prepared for such an undertaking
I’m not enough
All these thoughts were coming from the mind of a person who had already accomplished SO much, but I couldn’t seem to get past them--for YEARS! I finally did, so I want to share how in the hopes that it might help you get over your own self-doubt much faster!
Being honest about your doubt or fear, and admitting it, is the first step in facing it head-on. If you know what your biggest doubt is, you can deal with it. If you pretend it’s not there, it just grows. Once you face it, then taking ACTION, however small, will tell your mind that you are making a different choice, and tell those anxious thoughts to back off.
An exercise I often do with my private clients is to have them write down everything they’ve accomplished in their life. It’s like a resume of confidence. Remember (and write down!) the awards you won in high school, your achievements on projects or in extracurricular clubs at university, your grades, the things you’ve accomplished at work, your relationships, you name it. Anything that you’ve achieved.
Spend some time on this over the course of a couple of days--your brain will work on it while you’re sleeping.
Most of us don’t walk around with the natural confidence that could come from having accomplished everything we have. Looking at this list and reminding yourself is powerful.
My clients are high-achieving, driven dreamers who aren’t happy doing what they’re doing. They want to overcome the things that are holding them back to live the life and run the business of their dreams, and this list helps them remember what they’ve already done, and use that to spur them on to bigger things! They already have everything they need to become as successful as they want to be (so do YOU, in fact!), and with my support, they’re able to uncover what’s inside them and finally go for it.
Find like-minded people.
Research has shown that we learn, grow, and achieve our goals much faster when we have support from peers and mentors. So stop looking for help from those who don’t think like you WANT to think. Ask yourself,
“Who do I need to be to get what I want to get?”
and find the people who are already doing those things or acting in those ways. Ask them for help. Successful people are often happy to help, because someone helped them at one point, and they want to pay it forward.
I waited way too long to start working out of a space with other entrepreneurs. I sat in my home office by myself, feeling isolated from the real world, and it took a toll. Even as an introvert, my energy, creativity, motivation and inspiration are much higher when I surround myself with others on this journey.
Self-doubt is not a character flaw,
it’s just a thing most of us face on our journey to success. How you deal with it will determine your destination.
I believe in you,