Happy Friday, dear ones!
Recently I’ve been re-reading The Confidence Code, a book that explores the research and science behind confidence, and how women can gain more of it. Highly recommend!
I shared over on Periscope (follow me @lifewpassion!) that adversity is one of the key factors in determining future confidence. Women who experience adversity early in life often turn out to be some of the most confident adults.
But we don’t need to go out and put ourselves in some crazy difficult situation to get it. NO. Because the truth is, we ALL walk around having been through our own adversity, and some of us are carrying it like a heavy weight right now. If we’re not, we can remember that feeling all too well.
Let me give you an example from my life this year. Most of you know that my 2015 started off with my daughter, Maeve, inexplicably passing away just 3 weeks before her due date, after a perfect pregnancy. I’d previously had 3 early miscarriages, and have no other children, so the grief was even more compounded.
My life was forever changed.
Every day I get up and face the reality again that she’s not here. I try to answer the so-often-asked question, “Do you have kids?” in a way that honors her and doesn’t cause an instant breakdown. You get the picture.
The one thing I’ve heard over and over and over from people is,
“I can’t imagine going through that and surviving it.”
But thank God I did survive, and one of the results has been a totally renewed passion, zest, energy to change the world. I won’t call it fearlessness, because I'm not, but I do know that realizing that I survived what psychiatrists say is the hardest loss has given me a whole new level of confidence. T
hat’s why I resonated so strongly with what the authors of The Confidence Code said about adversity. This adversity has made me stronger and more confident. And now, when hard moments or days come, I remind myself that I am the woman who is surviving a loss that most people can’t imagine. If I can do that, I can do anything!
Adversity is a common thread in some legendary figures, too. Napoleon Hill shares in Think & Grow Rich that the tragic loss of their first true loves is what put both young Abraham Lincoln and Charles Dickens on their world-changing trajectories.
So, how about you?
You may not share my story, but don’t discount the tough things you’ve survived that have shaped who you are. Many of us hide these things, but if you’ve gone through it, other people have too--
Whatever is personal is universal.
You can use what you’ve experienced as a force for good, both for yourself and for others. You are so much stronger than even you know, friend, and that strength is one the world desperately needs.
How awesome are YOU, having gone through your issues and come out on the other side, still standing?
Tell me, what have you been through that you can draw on & be proud of getting through? I’d love to hear, so email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and fill me in!