Deciding frees you to move from a place of feeling like a victim to showing up as a volunteer. When we are feeling stuck or incapable of deciding, we're handing our power over to something external. Once we make a decision, we're reminded that we actually get to choose how we show up, today.
Here's an example:
I had a mini-physical for life insurance. The agent came to my house to perform a few tests and verify my application.
She was nice, but flustered, and complained non-stop about how beautiful the day was outside, since she’d be stuck inside doing payroll, her least favorite thing to do, how much she was dreading it, and how awful today was going to be, etc., etc. She was in her 50s, and I was saddened to realize how unhappy this woman was, and that she clearly saw herself as trapped by her job. She couldn’t even enjoy the fact that she was out of the office, sitting in front of a beautiful view, making a drive in the sunshine, and so on.
It honestly reminded me of how far I’ve come. A few years ago, that would’ve been me, joining in, always stressing or obsessing about the next negative thing coming up on my schedule and how I was going to survive it.
I wasn’t enjoying the present because I was too busy dreading what was next, and living in the future put me in a perpetual state of anxiety.
So that meant my hopes, dreams and thoughts were dependent on things outside of my control, outside of the here and now, relegated to “someday,” waiting in the wings for me to realize that they were up to me all along!
You are not a victim. Neither is the insurance lady. I know that’s a loaded word to use, but I use it with meaning and intention.
You ARE a volunteer, and you have the power to change your circumstances--but it IS a choice. You can make the choice before you know exactly how it’s all going to happen. It’s simply a choice to be open to what could be next, and better for you.
It feels much easier to play the victim, and to be blunt, most people do--but where is that getting you?
I asked the below question on a coaching call:
Where will you be a year from today if it’s still up to someone or something else to make YOUR dreams come true?
It totally rocked the woman on the other end of the phone out of complacency and fear to a place where she was finally ready to accomplish a goal she'd been procrastinating on for 9 YEARS!
You don’t have to know how it’s all going to look now, you just need to decide to make a choice to take the power back and take control of your life. That’s where it starts. And every day, women just like you are making the choice to be open to changing their own lives.
Are you ready?
What’s one place you’ve been waiting for someday or playing the victim that you’re willing to change, even if you don’t yet know what that looks like?